The world can seem like a scary place right now. According to a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, Americans are stressed about inflation, global uncertainty, and their own personal security. Almost 90% say it feels like there has been a constant stream of crises without a break over the last two years. As a parent, you may be thinking about these issues and what will happen to your children if something happens to you. These kinds of concerns are natural and are present from the day you take your baby home until you they are adults and can take care of themselves. And for parents of special needs children, the concerns never go away.
No one wants to think about someone else raising their child. It’s a horrific thought that can literally take your breath away. But if you have children under the age of eighteen, it’s something you have to think about.
If you can’t raise your child because of incapacity death, a court will appoint guardian to take custody of your child. A family court judge – a stranger who does not know you, your child, or your relatives and friends – will decide who will raise your child. Anyone can ask to be considered, and the judge will select the person she deems in the best interest of the child. Your children’s guardian could be your ex-spouse or partner who has been absent or abusive, a relative you despise, or even a stranger you’ve never met. Families tend to fight over children, especially if there’s money involved. And if no one is willing to take your child; the judge will place your child in foster care.
If you are proactive in naming a guardian, however, the judge will likely support your choice. Having a thorough plan is how you protect your children and have a voice in their future.
How to Choose a Guardian
You cannot be replaced. No one parents like you. But you may have thought of someone that could do the best job in providing for your children’s general welfare, education, and medical needs if you are no longer available to do so. Your children’s guardian can be a relative or friend.
Here are a few factors my clients consider when selecting guardians (and backup guardians).
- The closeness of the relationship between the children and the potential guardian.
- The parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, religious/spiritual beliefs of the potential guardian.
- The location of the guardian. Will children have to move from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood? Will the guardian move into your home? And if your choice of guardian lives thousands of miles away, does it make sense to name short-term guardians to serve until your primary guardian arrives?
- The age and health of the potential guardians.
- The guardian’s emotional preparedness:
- Someone who is single or who doesn’t want children may resent having to care for your children.
- Someone with a houseful of their own children may or may not want more around.
Serving as guardian and raising your children is a big deal; don’t spring such a responsibility on anyone. Ask your top candidates if they would be willing to serve, and name at least one alternate in case the first choice becomes unable to serve.
The chances of needing the guardian to actually step in and raise your children are usually slim. But it’s that “what if” that keeps you up at night. It’s the occurrence of the “what if” that could have a profound and lasting impact on your children’s wellbeing. Deciding who will raise your children is not easy, but don’t let that stop you from nominating a guardian and a backup guardian. You can change your mind and select a different guardian anytime you’d like.
I am here to listen to your concerns and help you establish a plan that will not only succeed but give you a peace of mind. To schedule an appointment with to ensure your children are protected, you can call my office at 904.412.8739, reach out to me at greg@williamsonfirmonline.com, schedule a consultation at your convenience on my calendar.
